Not sure why, but I decided to dust off the blog and see if it still works. And here I am. So much has changed in the past year. As you can see, one of the last things I posted was about losing Ghia. Our hearts weren't anywhere near over that, when 15 months later, Paw decided he couldn't live without her anymore, and had a stroke and died 6 days later. So in case anyone needs to know, it takes 15 months to die of a broken heart. At least it is in my mind.
Paw had gone on with life and was doing good. He was taking care of himself, and trying to stay busy. But, there wasn't enough busy to go around. He was just lonely. So very lonely. And there is only so much we could do to entertain him.
He was at a Homeowners Association meeting, where he was involved in transitioning the association to a private association. He suddenly complained of his eyes bothering him. and then he was on the floor. He had a massive brain bleed. He got a final ride in an ambulance. And he got to ride in a helicopter. But I doubt he remembers it. He responded vaguely for 3 days, then another 3 days before he finally gave up. We were waiting for a bed to open up in hospice, and he decided he didn't want to go through all that and went home! Ghia and Mikey were waiting with open arms. I hope they have set into their new heavenly routine until we are all together again.
The funny thing is, suddenly we are orphans. I have been dreading watching them grow old and suffer, and being faced with the awful choices that so many of us have to make about alternate living when the time came. And then, suddenly, it was over. No nursing home decisions to ever be made. And the funeral decisions had already been done. Their affairs were in order, all their bills were paid, and the estate has been pretty easy to deal with. (Much thanks to Neil and his knowledge of such).
But I have to say....I miss them both more than I ever imagined I would. I'm not boo hoo sad. I'm just empty sad. I have always had a hole in my soul since Mikey died. And now, it is just bigger. Sometimes, I wonder how a person can still exist with these holes, but we do.
I will add some pictures when I get to the computer that has my photos. But, the reason this blog has existed so long was because of Paw. He didn't do facebook, and this was how he looked at pictures. And I let the past year go by without him being able to see my pictures. And now, I'm sad again. I'm sorry Paw.
